Top 10 Local Birds

Here is my top 10 list of local birds found in my neighborhood by preference:

1. Chickadees
10. Magpies

That is all.

A New Canadian Century

I will be performing a show at the Edmonton Fringe Festival this year called “A New Canadian Century”.


FRIDAY the 13th!!!!! 10:45pm

Saturday 14th: 6pm

Sunday 15th: 2:15pm

Tuesday 17th: NOON show

Thursday 19th: 4:30pm

LAST SHOW is Friday 20th: 11pm

It is at: Fringe Venue 8: Old Strathcona Performing Arts Centre 8426 Gateway Blvd

I hope to see you there!

The Eh Project Pt. 1

Did you ever wonder how “eh” became associated with the way Canadians talk? You probably don’t say it, your parents probably don’t say it… I blame Canadian comedians.

exhibit 1:

How Does it Work? Episode 13: The Combination Lock

You wouldn’t normally think that mathematics and safety are the two things that go hand in hand, but why not, silly?  So thereby come we to The Combination Lock: Man’s testament to the power of numbers, and the strength of math! Many of us spent our childhoods taking combination locks for granted, and with good reason, they’re amazing. To explain a combination lock, you have to go inside the lock, which means that someone needed to make a real big lock in the past before we could understand them as human people. Each number written on the dial is actually represented by a “number” inside the dial, in a perfect 1:1 ratio, otherwise known as Monogamy’s Law. When a number is “selected”, this resets the real-time value of the base code, and subsequent numbers are calculated (also in real time) to be deemed correct or incorrect also according to the fantastic Monogamy’s Law (invented by Monogamy Trent Sr.).   After the third selection is made via the turning, a microchip inside the combination lock calculates the viability of the given code sequence, and an electronic signal is sent to the horseshoe part of the lock, also known as the “HSHOE” and the lock either opens in a warm, inviting manner, or stays closed, as if none of this plantronic sequence had taken place, fooling many into believing they had just been dreaming ALIVE!  So now that you know how the combination lock works, will you ever look at one in the same stupid way that you used to?  I’d say, it’s a LOCK (that you won’t do that.)

come the mightiest locks.

How Does it Work? Episode 12: The Microphone

The Microphone originally started out as someone’s idea to make a tiny phone. That’s true. Here’s what else: In 2007, the smallest phone (or, CELL PHONE, because they’re small like living skin cells) was actually smaller than the smallest microphone. So that’s interesting, because the language is all backwards now.  The microphone takes in noise, through the meshy end, and makes it small enough to fit through a wire. That part is pretty easy, it’s like a funnel. Think of how a funnel works, and that’s what’s going on in a microphone. Here’s where it gets interesting though. For a microphone to work, there needs to be something at the other end to make the sound big again. This is called a macrophone, although nobody calls it by its scientific name any more, they just call them amplifiers now, because it “amps” up the sound. The first microphone was surprisingly large, as if nobody knew how to use Latin very well. It was invented so people could announce things like wrestling matches, which were the first large gatherings of people in the 17th century of Britain. Microphones come in “condenser” and “dynamic” and “hidden”, each of which have their advantages. A condenser microphone makes things “dense” when they get small, whereas a “dynamic” microphone, or “dynamicrophone” makes things really flamboyant. Hidden microphones are what you’d expect, so that’s a no-brainer.  Some microphones use “phantom power”, but eeesh, that’s scary stuff.