Hello from Killam!
Here it is!
I know you’ve heard a lot about Killam, in movies, in Broadway musicals, and especially in 19th Century Russian literature, but prepare to forget everything you THOUGHT you knew about Killam.
It's important to enjoy the little things, like big ice cream cones.
Dubbed the “Ice Cream Capital”, Killam is actually more well-known for sorbets and other flavoured ice products, but in 1865, the original Killam Chamber of Commerce (a guy named Doug) decided (correctly) that dairy desserts looked better on road-side signage, and the decision has stuck.
Killam is now home to the Culinary Institute of Conical Dessert Accessories, specializing in the art and science of edible serving device preparation. You might not be familiar with the Institute (student population 3), but you might be familiar with the Waffle Cone. Well, so are they! It wasn’t invented there, but it represents an entire semester of learning. Fill your boots, foodies!
The town motto, confusingly, is “Drive safely, avoid accidents, Killam”. (See town sign in picture, above.) For over a century, it was, “Drive safely, avoid accidents, kill’em”, and residents loved it a lot. When vehicular homicide was made illegal in 1946, they changed the name of their town from “Staplertown” to “Killam” so they could continue to use the motto at ceremonies, sporting events, and in singing the civic anthem “Killam Well, Killam All”. Not just a catchy town motto, this phrase now serves as a reminder to NOT hit people with cars. According to town’s statistical records, since 1946, there has never been a single vehicular accident in Killam (not counting accidents involving a man named Jeff, Geoff, Jef, Geff, etc…) which would place it easily in the Guiness Book of World Records, if the book included dumb records like that.
Killam was also the first town in the Western world to have the map of their entire town painted on the side of the biggest building in town (see picture, below). This process is known as “pulling a Killam” and means a short-sighted, ill-advised waste of money on public art, because towns change size, and the sides of buildings don’t, generally. Killam however, will never face this problem.
FAMOUS PEOPLE FROM KILLAM:
TRIVIA TIME: The building that the map was painted on... ISN'T ON THE MAP!
-Sandra Jacobavich, flute player in Augusto Pinochet’s personal traveling woodwind quintet, The Augustinotes (1974-1975).
-Fiona Reading, the first person from Killam to learn what reading is, and how it could be used in today’s society for the betterment of humanity (1983).
-The world’s 9th tallest three-legged cow on record, named Harvey (two-term Mayor of Killam, 1965-1976).
Well, I guess it’s back to the tour bus now, I hope the weather back home is mild.
Best regards imaginable,